ZombieDance 2002: WORLD PREMIERE FIRST-HAND REPORT 

                          or...

HOW I LEARNED TO STOP FOOLING AROUND AND BECAME A WORLD-FAMOUS AWARD-WINNING FESTIVALIZED FILMMAKER INSTEAD

I owe a lot to the ZombieDance 2002 film festival, and I'm going to tell you why.

I had wanted to make films for years, ever since I was a kid in elementary school in the 1960s, religiously reading Famous Monsters of Filmland and making up and acting in monster movie plays in my backyard. That desire only increased during my teenage and adult years, as I became a habitué of bombed-out sleaze pit theaters and drive-ins in the Deep South, soaking in the awe-inspiring and mind-warping works of such (at the time) under-appreciated auteurs as Herschell Gordon Lewis, David Friedman, Al Adamson, Rudy Ray Moore, Russ Meyers....and so many others.

One day, I thought, I'll make movies, too!

Yeah, a lot of people think that.

Well, time passed, and I did other things. But no movie. (Well, there was a 2 minute 8mm sort of beginning of a movie, "Bosco, Beast of Dilapidation," but my dog ate it before it could be edited.)

But I didn't lose the desire. And finally, in 2001, I decided, enough -- I will make a movie this year!

So I acquired a mini-DV camera. And right about that time, as if Fate had been waiting -- and friends, Fate has a way of doing this once you actually begin to take action -- I saw an ad in FILM THREAT newsletter for the ZombieDance 2002 film festival, to be held in Austin, Texas. This was the festival's fourth year.

According to FILM THREAT:

"ZombieDance Film Festival's primary focus is on short films containing members of the undead: zombies (naturally), ghosts, ghouls, spooks and all things creepy and crawly. This year, however, festival organizers have decided to open up the entry field and take all films of a "psychotronic" nature."

That sounded good. I was also impressed to learn that trash-film critic Joe Bob Briggs of "Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-in" fame had praised ZombieDance for "restoring the zombie to its rightful place at the apex of American cinema!"

Yeah, no doubt about it: ZombieDance sounded just about perfect for me! I set the goal of finishing my film by ZombieDance's deadline in February, 2002. And I figured it wouldnt be so bad if it had the word Zombie in the title, either.

Without going into all the details of how I did the movie, I did it, with the absolutely invaluable help of first-time cinematographer Shanora Zagon. In one weekend, without even any editing equipment. And sent it in. And they accepted. I had a film in a film festival! I had gone from a nothing in the world of film to being the director, writer, producer, star and musical director of a film that was going to be in a real damn festival! Yahoo!

I was of course ecstatic. And of course I decided I had to be there -- like I was going to miss the WORLD PREMIERE of my first movie at an insane film festival!

In a rental car -- accompanied by the glamorous and beautiful Shanora Zagon -- we set out on the several hundred mile trip from the hills of North Georgia to Austin, making stops at oddball sites along the way.

Maybe the best part of the trip in to Austin was New Orleans. The French Quarter didn't interest me much, but when we got lost in the town and drove through some slums, I was just knocked out by the plethora of crude hand-made signs for bars, cheap slum businesses, etc. It was just a gorgeous display of un-self-conscious, unaware folk-art -- an unintentional outsider art gallery. I took photos, and plan to go back soon to get more. This was one of the highlights of the entire trip for me.

We got to Austin just hours before the fest, stopped briefly at our hotel, then rushed out to the festival.

ZombieDance was being held at a punk rock club named "Beerland." Again, how perfect could it be!

And it gets better.

Beerland is in Austin's infamous "Red River District." Just a couple of years ago this was Austin's Crack Alley, locally renowned as the best place in town for getting and smoking crack. It's still a rough place. The building now housing Beerland was a former whorehouse, then a crackhouse, and the alley beside it is still a crackhead hangout. A Salvation Army shelter is just across the street. A police station is around the corner. Rough and sinister-looking characters of all types abound.

(Learn more about Beerland's sordid history and surroundings in this Austin Chronicle article on the area:

http://www.auschron.com/issues/dispatch/2001-06-22/music_feature.html .)

There were lots of bars in the area. Just down the street was one called "The Rehab Lounge." Another bar across the street advertised its "Elvis karaoke contest."

Again, how perfect.

Beerland is a pretty big cement building. Inside, it looked like most everything was painted bomb-raid black. The owners -- one was running the bar -- seemed like genuinely nice folks. I gather Beerland is building a rep as a good place for up and coming punk bands to play.

Shortly after entering I met 2 of the guys putting ZombieDance 2002 on, Rob and Chuck. Rob welcomed me as if I was Frances Ford Coppola -- "Man, your film...it was just awesome!" -- and I didn't know if he was serious or just being polite, but I certainly appreciated it. (Hell, I thought it was awesome, too!)

Beerland began to fill up with dozens of warped film fans (I started to fix the syntax of that phrase, but couldnt decide which way to fix it, both meanings seem accurate) and lights dimmed and the festival began.

After a non-festival short and a trailer from Troma Films (see below), FLESH ORGY OF THE ZOMBIE TOTEM was announced -- the first festival entry pic to be shown.

I was introduced from the stage, I arose and accepted applause from the crowd, but now I was nervous, too, since I had no idea how they would receive it and now they all knew where I was.

And then FLESH ORGY OF THE ZOMBIE TOTEM began.

They were using a digital projector (or whatever you call those things), and the image was very big -- not quite full screen as in a theatre, but pretty damned big. And for me it was GREAT seeing the film so huge up there!

Without going into details, the film was well received by the audience. One guy was laughing eerily, high-pitched, throughout -- at least I think it was laughter. At the end, the guy sitting next to me stuck out his hand, shook mine, and said, simply, "Thank you. Thank you."

Celebrities in the audience: Lloyd Kaufman, founder of Troma Films, arrived just after the start of the festival, both to show a trailer and more importantly to bestow his blessing upon the event. He had his own event to go to that evening, so he didn't stay. I didn't get to meet him and tell him I'd seen his old 70s baseball-and-sex movie SQUEEZE PLAY at the (now long-demolished) Rexview Drive-In in Columbus, Georgia eons ago, along with others of his. Though I am not a huge fan of the Troma style (tho I gotta admire their spirit and energy), the Troma preview they showed was absolutely hilarious and Ill probably try to see the flick. I think it was "Toxic Avenger, Part IV." (I'll try to confirm that title.)

Also in attendance: Johnny Hardwick, writer, producer and voice of "Dale Gribble" from the hit animated TV show KING OF THE HILL.

There were some amazing films at ZombieDance, some were incredible. All were well worth seeing. Perhaps my favorite was a 10-minute excerpt from a feature Australian film THE KILLBILLIES that was just amazing and brilliant and perverse and funny -- like Erskine Caldwell writing about hillbilly zombies while taking LSD. And hey, I *know* about drug-crazed hillbilly zombies -- many of my neighbors in North Georgia fit that description! This is a dangerous and disturbing film.

You can see more about the other films at the fest -- including the award-winners -- at: http://www.flojo.com/ZombieDance/program.html .

At the end, the festival officials gave me a statue of a Mole Man from the great old horror 1956 movie THE MOLE PEOPLE, a fantastic-looking festival T-shirt, a festival poster, other goodies.

It was a great evening, not to be forgotten. And to cap it all off:

A few weeks later I received a coveted "Golden Zombie Award" from the festival -- making me officially an award-winning filmmaker.

My greatest thanks to everyone involved -- promoters, judges, audience members, the guy who was laughing so weirdly. This was just unforgettable.

We left Austin the day after ZombieDance, meandered back, making frequent stops. I got a good laugh out of the official state map of Louisiana at their very nice rest station, but don't remember why now. Maybe it was their state dog? I'll check it out next time through.

And this was great: We saw something -- a road sign or maybe a brochure -- that led us to check out Rayne, Louisiana, a small town that has for some reason declared itself "Frog Capitol of the World" and proved it by painting something like two dozen big frog murals all over the town! Frogs everywhere! Frog engravings at the Chamber of Commerce! Even a restaurant that serves frog legs. Green ink in the newspaper banner! They host an annual Rayne Frog Festival. I guess it's one of my favorite towns in the world. Check out their town site:  http://www.rayne.org/index.htm

BEST OF ALL, though: One place anyone reading this simply MUST go to if you are ever near New Orleans is THE UCM MUSEUM (in the tiny town of Abita Springs, LA, about an hour north of New Orleans and not far off Interstate 12). It is just wonderful.

Artist John Preble has fixed up an old gas station (and several other buildings) into something that is part roadside attraction, part crazy house, part folk art weirdness, part sideshow.... all wonderful. We were running late, and Preble  kindly stayed open late for us, and we stayed over 2 hours, not trying to abuse his hospitality but just trying to take it all in, and talking with him.

The UCM is crammed with weird and ridiculous stuff like a 22-foot long "Bassigator" -- half-bass, half-gator "wonder of science"; Darrel the Dogigator, an ancient Airstream trailer with a UFO crashed into it (and alien corpses inside!), ridiculous boxes in which you can twirl knobs and make things move (in one, you can make a crude hurricane knock over a trailer!), a large gallery of paint-by-numbers paintings, and just on and on. A zillion weird things -- more specifically, over 50,000 pieces of stuff shoved, glued, nailed, painted and piled together to make this one-of-a-kind place. It's an inspiration and astonishment at every turn. Peble says his neighbors don't like the place too much. Tough for them -- they should consider themselves privileged!

We gawked and took lots of pictures -- there's literally something amazing everywhere you look -- bought some stuff from Peble, and left him with a copy of FLESH ORGY OF THE ZOMBIE TOTEM.

Check out the web site and you'll see why you gotta visit this place: http://ucmmuseum.com/ . Tell him the guy who made FLESH ORGY OF THE ZOMBIE TOTEM sent you!

Their brochure points out: "Everyone is welcome, even your family." Love it!

Eventually we returned to the North Georgia mountains and the drug-crazed hillbilly zombies I mentioned earlier. And I began targeting other film festivals -- like Baltimore's MicroCineFest -- and doing other stuff.

And that, my friends, is my report of ZombieDance 2002!